








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1287 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1000 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2337 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2279 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1979 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,456,216 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boomer | 71 | 0.0254 |
| #2 | REAL REAL bait | 66 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | Zpelour | 57 | 0.0154 |
| #4 | Crack Hamster ๐โขโข๐ฆงโข๐ฆโข๐ | 43 | 0.0287 |
| #5 | Dompa | 25 | 0.0202 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boomer | 623 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | Zpelour | 535 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | REAL REAL bait | 449 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | Crack Hamster ๐โขโข๐ฆงโข๐ฆโข๐ | 100 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | BraxOlof | 99 | 0.16 | 2 min |





