








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 336 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 482 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 219 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




141 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3108 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,268 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4166 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3629 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 6965 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 5508 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,625,742 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 781 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boomer | 123 | 0.0203 |
| #2 | Crack Hamster ๐โขโข๐ฆงโข๐ฆโข๐ | 87 | 0.0189 |
| #3 | Zpelour | 79 | 0.0142 |
| #4 | Gitler | 36 | 0.0208 |
| #5 | Squirrel | 31 | 0.0157 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boomer | 1251 | 0.21 | 30 min |
| #2 | Zpelour | 760 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #3 | BraxOlof | 361 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | Crack Hamster ๐โขโข๐ฆงโข๐ฆโข๐ | 335 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | Spelour | 278 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crack Hamster ๐โขโข๐ฆงโข๐ฆโข๐ | +4.59 | 65 | 48 |
| #2 | Gitler | +4.45 | 63 | 54 |
| #3 | Squirrel | +3.80 | 59 | 50 |
| #4 | Dompa | +3.32 | 61 | 36 |
| #5 | Billy | +2.07 | 54 | 46 |





