








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
573 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 446 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 40 | 9% |
| Smokes | 154 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 104 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 148 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $41,190 of utility $14 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stephysauze | 36% | 136 |
| #2 | Ⓢℙ⌿⍀ℂ⋿ | 36% | 137 |
| #3 | Retro | 32% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stephysauze | 36% | 136 |
| #2 | Ⓢℙ⌿⍀ℂ⋿ | 36% | 137 |
| #3 | Retro | 32% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ⓢℙ⌿⍀ℂ⋿ | 19 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | stephysauze | 17 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Retro | 4 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Retro | 302 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | stephysauze | 114 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ⓢℙ⌿⍀ℂ⋿ | 79 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ⓢℙ⌿⍀ℂ⋿ | +3.52 | 56 | 25 |
| #2 | Retro | +1.09 | 50 | 57 |
| #3 | stephysauze | -1.11 | 33 | 31 |
| #4 | ismokepaint | -3.97 | 17 | 11 |





