








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 104 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1533 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,605 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1478 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1939 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1681 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1507 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $551,357 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W.D Gann | 57% | 87 |
| #2 | Thicc Susan Boyle | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | uz peek | 51% | 81 |
| #4 | RIGGED | 43% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W.D Gann | 57% | 87 |
| #2 | Thicc Susan Boyle | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | uz peek | 51% | 81 |
| #4 | RIGGED | 43% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uz peek | 15 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | RIGGED | 12 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | W.D Gann | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uz peek | 277 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | RIGGED | 268 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | W.D Gann | 178 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Thicc Susan Boyle | 13 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W.D Gann | +3.39 | 71 | 66 |
| #2 | Thicc Susan Boyle | +1.91 | 81 | 57 |
| #3 | RIGGED | +1.34 | 85 | 51 |
| #4 | uz peek | +1.27 | 82 | 52 |
| #5 | BoneSoup | -1.91 | 59 | 59 |





