








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2144 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,591 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2585 | 46% |
| Smokes | 1552 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1288 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 166 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $325,088 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 313 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W.D Gann | 66% | 59 |
| #2 | Thicc Susan Boyle | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | RIGGED | 58% | 117 |
| #4 | BoneSoup | 51% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W.D Gann | 66% | 59 |
| #2 | Thicc Susan Boyle | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | RIGGED | 58% | 117 |
| #4 | BoneSoup | 51% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RIGGED | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | W.D Gann | 6 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | BoneSoup | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RIGGED | 220 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | W.D Gann | 94 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | BoneSoup | 83 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Thicc Susan Boyle | 10 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W.D Gann | +2.70 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | Thicc Susan Boyle | +2.41 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | RIGGED | +1.40 | 82 | 52 |
| #4 | uz peek | +0.77 | 82 | 56 |
| #5 | BoneSoup | -3.23 | 57 | 56 |





