








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 537 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 298 matches | ||
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6428 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,351 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4082 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3948 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3673 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4648 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,542,013 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hazwenka | 53% | 70 |
| #2 | wex | 51% | 83 |
| #3 | clouds | 50% | 119 |
| #4 | jaypee | 46% | 192 |
| #5 | trapzyy | 44% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | wex | 51% | 83 |
| #3 | clouds | 50% | 119 |
| #4 | jaypee | 46% | 192 |
| #5 | trapzyy | 44% | 112 |
| #6 | Kylex42 | 43% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaypee | 31 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Kylex42 | 20 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | clouds | 19 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | hazwenka | 14 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | trapzyy | 13 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaypee | 815 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #2 | clouds | 654 | 0.26 | 18 min |
| #3 | Kylex42 | 619 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #4 | trapzyy | 526 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #5 | hazwenka | 237 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clouds | +1.99 | 78 | 76 |
| #2 | trapzyy | +1.59 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | hazwenka | +0.94 | 78 | 66 |
| #4 | wex | +0.29 | 82 | 60 |
| #5 | nearly mate | +0.23 | 77 | 57 |





