








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 512 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 219 matches | ||
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4401 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,498 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6173 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6692 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4643 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4990 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $731,749 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 854 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zundo | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | hazwenka | 58% | 71 |
| #3 | jaypee | 51% | 105 |
| #4 | Haxor | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | wex | 51% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Haxor | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | wex | 51% | 47 |
| #6 | Kylex42 | 50% | 123 |
| #7 | nearly mate | 50% | 119 |
| #8 | trapzyy | 49% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaypee | 32 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | Kylex42 | 26 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | nearly mate | 25 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | hazwenka | 22 | 0.0151 |
| #5 | trapzyy | 17 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trapzyy | 601 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #2 | Kylex42 | 507 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #3 | jaypee | 318 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | nearly mate | 277 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | hazwenka | 204 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zundo | +2.47 | 76 | 64 |
| #2 | clouds | +1.93 | 76 | 75 |
| #3 | Haxor | +1.89 | 88 | 59 |
| #4 | trapzyy | +1.27 | 69 | 65 |
| #5 | hazwenka | +1.14 | 78 | 64 |





