








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Wingman | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2170 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 89 | 4% |
| Smokes | 426 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1440 | 60% |
| Molotovs | 462 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,308,937 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 313 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Nutsack | 44% | 474 |
| #2 | Medium Nutsack | 16% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Nutsack | 44% | 474 |
| #2 | Medium Nutsack | 16% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Nutsack | 52 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Medium Nutsack | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Nutsack | 429 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Nutsack | +3.50 | 61 | 31 |
| #2 | Big Nutsack | -3.88 | 26 | 18 |
| #3 | Medium Nutsack | -6.54 | 14 | 6 |





