








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
623 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,604 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 431 | 27% |
| Smokes | 176 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 748 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 249 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $153,767 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Senpai | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Crave | 71% | 21 |
| #3 | John Cena #1 Fan | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | マックスノーハック | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | Akdalgaming | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | piddi_bacchi [no audio] | 58% | 85 |
| #9 | Mave | 57% | 7 |
| #10 | Eren | 55% | 29 |
| #11 | lebuga | 55% | 89 |
| #12 | He Who Remains.. | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | piddi_bacchi [no audio] | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | lebuga | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Minato | 2 | 0.0127 |
| #4 | Eren | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Crave | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | piddi_bacchi [no audio] | 151 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | lebuga | 80 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | Eren | 66 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Minato | 30 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | He Who Remains.. | 16 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Senpai | +8.70 | 57 | 24 |
| #2 | Crave | +5.55 | 69 | 27 |
| #3 | Dan Bilzerian | +4.88 | 74 | 36 |
| #4 | Minato | +4.36 | 33 | 54 |
| #5 | マックスノーハック | +2.64 | 65 | 59 |





