








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 375 matches | ||
| Wingman | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




221 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4971 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,141 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3756 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3576 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2525 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1284 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,240,588 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willi | 52% | 185 |
| #2 | leffe | 48% | 157 |
| #3 | PiM PiM | 48% | 220 |
| #4 | Unniblue | 45% | 47 |
| #5 | Blixten | 44% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | leffe | 48% | 157 |
| #3 | PiM PiM | 48% | 220 |
| #4 | Unniblue | 45% | 47 |
| #5 | Blixten | 44% | 89 |
| #6 | Sexig Främling | 33% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PiM PiM | 54 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | leffe | 37 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | Sexig Främling | 37 | 0.0219 |
| #4 | Blixten | 32 | 0.0177 |
| #5 | Unniblue | 30 | 0.0323 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willi | 474 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | leffe | 272 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Unniblue | 132 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sexig Främling | 100 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | PiM PiM | 91 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willi | +2.56 | 79 | 47 |
| #2 | Froyboi | +1.35 | 63 | 42 |
| #3 | PiM PiM | +0.25 | 56 | 16 |
| #4 | Unniblue | -0.43 | 66 | 35 |
| #5 | leffe | -0.84 | 64 | 30 |





