








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2320 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,114 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1150 | 28% |
| Smokes | 838 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1163 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 963 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $409,507 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willi | 50% | 124 |
| #2 | PiM PiM | 49% | 142 |
| #3 | Froyboi | 48% | 157 |
| #4 | Sexig Främling | 32% | 31 |
| #5 | GRR | 24% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | PiM PiM | 49% | 142 |
| #3 | Froyboi | 48% | 157 |
| #4 | Sexig Främling | 32% | 31 |
| #5 | GRR | 24% | 21 |
| #6 | Blixten | 22% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Froyboi | 86 | 0.0261 |
| #2 | PiM PiM | 32 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | Willi | 23 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | Blixten | 14 | 0.0193 |
| #5 | Sexig Främling | 10 | 0.0158 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Froyboi | 570 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | Willi | 279 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | PiM PiM | 75 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | GRR | 35 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sexig Främling | 33 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willi | +1.90 | 79 | 49 |
| #2 | Froyboi | +0.56 | 65 | 42 |
| #3 | PiM PiM | +0.07 | 61 | 19 |
| #4 | leffe | -0.70 | 68 | 29 |
| #5 | GRR | -1.52 | 75 | 41 |





