








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1800 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 485 matches | ||
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Faceit | 189 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 2,251 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9164 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,868 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5518 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3410 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5333 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3607 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,728,376 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 583 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | danttE | 64% | 67 |
| #2 | Baby Yoda | 61% | 269 |
| #3 | Angry | 51% | 284 |
| #4 | OmegaKang | 51% | 780 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | danttE | 64% | 67 |
| #2 | Baby Yoda | 61% | 269 |
| #3 | Angry | 51% | 284 |
| #4 | OmegaKang | 51% | 780 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OmegaKang | 33 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Angry | 20 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Baby Yoda | 16 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | danttE | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angry | 585 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | OmegaKang | 457 | 0.03 | 10 min |
| #3 | Baby Yoda | 331 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | danttE | 227 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaxyAims | +2.40 | 84 | 52 |
| #2 | danttE | +1.52 | 78 | 63 |
| #3 | Baby Yoda | -0.22 | 71 | 46 |
| #4 | OmegaKang | -1.12 | 67 | 40 |
| #5 | Angry | -1.51 | 58 | 50 |





