








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 424 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 112 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3720 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1217 | 6% |
| Smokes | 6594 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3885 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 7105 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,377,973 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dio | 52% | 60 |
| #2 | mihu69 | 48% | 578 |
| #3 | jimbo | 47% | 323 |
| #4 | manny | 45% | 127 |
| #5 | Saijebal | 45% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mihu69 | 54 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Dio | 20 | 0.0171 |
| #3 | sLump | 16 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | manny | 12 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | jimbo | 11 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mihu69 | 1311 | 0.11 | 29 min |
| #2 | manny | 255 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | sLump | 254 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | jimbo | 243 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | Dio | 184 | 0.16 | 4 min |





