








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3506 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1767 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1522 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2131 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2456 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,331,299 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dewbe | 61% | 89 |
| #2 | Thommo | 61% | 61 |
| #3 | Keysrypt | 56% | 122 |
| #4 | nahrootoes | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dewbe | 61% | 89 |
| #2 | Thommo | 61% | 61 |
| #3 | Keysrypt | 56% | 122 |
| #4 | nahrootoes | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keysrypt | 15 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Dewbe | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | nahrootoes | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Thommo | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keysrypt | 483 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | Thommo | 183 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | Dewbe | 170 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | nahrootoes | 69 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 奉献 | +2.65 | 86 | 48 |
| #2 | Keysrypt | +0.91 | 67 | 69 |
| #3 | Dewbe | +0.33 | 78 | 58 |
| #4 | Thommo | -0.39 | 56 | 67 |
| #5 | nahrootoes | -2.73 | 73 | 56 |





