








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 582 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,189 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2772 | 45% |
| Smokes | 884 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1443 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1090 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $450,268 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 743 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glaive fan ツ | 55% | 22 |
| #2 | rest | 46% | 83 |
| #3 | chlorine | 40% | 20 |
| #4 | Ego- | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | st6xy | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -. - | 29 | 0.0288 |
| #2 | Ego- | 11 | 0.0266 |
| #3 | st6xy | 6 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | valor | 4 | 0.0132 |
| #5 | glaive fan ツ | 3 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rest | 324 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | Ego- | 106 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #3 | -. - | 97 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | st6xy | 84 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | glaive fan ツ | 60 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chlorine | +3.13 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | rest | +1.63 | 61 | 72 |
| #3 | Ego- | +1.48 | 86 | 57 |
| #4 | -. - | +0.67 | 36 | 31 |
| #5 | marcy | +0.02 | 75 | 62 |





