








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 430 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1781 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,302 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 850 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1133 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1297 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1022 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $585,875 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 628 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glaive fan ツ | 51% | 88 |
| #2 | 401 | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | marcy | 38% | 13 |
| #4 | valor | 31% | 13 |
| #5 | -. - | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glaive fan ツ | 51% | 88 |
| #2 | 401 | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | marcy | 38% | 13 |
| #4 | valor | 31% | 13 |
| #5 | -. - | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glaive fan ツ | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | marcy | 6 | 0.0242 |
| #3 | 401 | 2 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | valor | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | -. - | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glaive fan ツ | 259 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | marcy | 44 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | 401 | 30 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | -. - | 15 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | valor | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chlorine | +2.85 | 88 | 63 |
| #2 | -. - | +0.92 | 36 | 23 |
| #3 | valor | -0.45 | 39 | 21 |
| #4 | glaive fan ツ | -1.06 | 72 | 56 |
| #5 | marcy | -2.25 | 64 | 61 |





