








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 498 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 490 matches | ||
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 124 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8072 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,323 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3581 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4881 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6950 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 4911 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,717,297 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 413 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jack Sparrow | 53% | 255 |
| #2 | Semir Gerkhan | 52% | 161 |
| #3 | OneArm | 51% | 511 |
| #4 | *My Name Is Džef* | 51% | 115 |
| #5 | KUŽ3L LFT | 51% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | KUŽ3L LFT | 51% | 88 |
| #6 | Karel z Mostu | 51% | 270 |
| #7 | Lloyd | 50% | 278 |
| #8 | Smoke beast | 50% | 120 |
| #9 | PampEliška | 49% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OneArm | 17 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Lloyd | 14 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Karel z Mostu | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Jack Sparrow | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Semir Gerkhan | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OneArm | 1547 | 0.14 | 39 min |
| #2 | Jack Sparrow | 884 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #3 | Lloyd | 692 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #4 | PampEliška | 635 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #5 | Semir Gerkhan | 579 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KUŽ3L LFT | +3.11 | 88 | 72 |
| #2 | *Young* jL | +1.88 | 67 | 58 |
| #3 | Semir Gerkhan | +0.84 | 54 | 72 |
| #4 | Smoke beast | +0.52 | 49 | 65 |
| #5 | OneArm | +0.17 | 56 | 79 |





