








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 296 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 275 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2999 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,193 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5208 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3222 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 5983 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4780 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $661,049 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karel z Mostu | 64% | 99 |
| #2 | Jack Sparrow | 56% | 285 |
| #3 | PampEliška | 55% | 145 |
| #4 | OneArm | 53% | 294 |
| #5 | *Young* jL | 52% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jack Sparrow | 56% | 285 |
| #3 | PampEliška | 55% | 145 |
| #4 | OneArm | 53% | 294 |
| #5 | *Young* jL | 52% | 161 |
| #6 | Lloyd | 51% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OneArm | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Karel z Mostu | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Jack Sparrow | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Lloyd | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | *Young* jL | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jack Sparrow | 1020 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #2 | OneArm | 896 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #3 | PampEliška | 480 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #4 | Lloyd | 331 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | *Young* jL | 290 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *Young* jL | +1.89 | 63 | 60 |
| #2 | Semir Gerkhan | +1.19 | 57 | 73 |
| #3 | OneArm | +0.57 | 52 | 81 |
| #4 | Lloyd | -0.47 | 65 | 63 |
| #5 | Karel z Mostu | -0.76 | 48 | 49 |





