








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1814 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,976 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 263 | 9% |
| Smokes | 310 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 1608 | 54% |
| Molotovs | 795 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $396,240 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokusomali? | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | Aziz - Combat Fighter | 54% | 65 |
| #3 | frankgrover | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | Bot_waldo | 45% | 211 |
| #5 | dielikefenix | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | frankgrover | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | Bot_waldo | 45% | 211 |
| #5 | dielikefenix | 41% | 46 |
| #6 | Mirjami | 40% | 65 |
| #7 | yb_NK | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bot_waldo | 30 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Mirjami | 19 | 0.0147 |
| #3 | Aziz - Combat Fighter | 15 | 0.0115 |
| #4 | Jokusomali? | 12 | 0.0173 |
| #5 | dielikefenix | 11 | 0.0122 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bot_waldo | 224 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #2 | dielikefenix | 187 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jokusomali? | 156 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mirjami | 134 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | frankgrover | 132 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokusomali? | +8.95 | 68 | 67 |
| #2 | frankgrover | +6.58 | 69 | 66 |
| #3 | yb_NK | +2.24 | 46 | 39 |
| #4 | dielikefenix | +1.79 | 50 | 57 |
| #5 | Aziz - Combat Fighter | +1.76 | 42 | 58 |





