








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 318 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




100 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3746 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4006 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3257 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5038 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4072 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,692,052 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 880 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokusomali? | 64% | 77 |
| #2 | dielikefenix | 59% | 149 |
| #3 | juusdo | 59% | 39 |
| #4 | härski | 54% | 65 |
| #5 | Bot_waldo | 53% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Bot_waldo | 53% | 137 |
| #6 | Äxdeeee2 | 52% | 126 |
| #7 | isso | 52% | 31 |
| #8 | Mirjami | 51% | 144 |
| #9 | frankgrover | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Äxdeeee2 | 39 | 0.0177 |
| #2 | Mirjami | 28 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | dielikefenix | 24 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | Jokusomali? | 22 | 0.0144 |
| #5 | Bot_waldo | 13 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dielikefenix | 541 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | Jokusomali? | 348 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #3 | Mirjami | 330 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | Äxdeeee2 | 181 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Bot_waldo | 144 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokusomali? | +6.07 | 67 | 72 |
| #2 | juusdo | +4.07 | 90 | 48 |
| #3 | Äxdeeee2 | +2.06 | 83 | 57 |
| #4 | dielikefenix | +0.50 | 44 | 55 |
| #5 | frankgrover | +0.47 | 60 | 47 |





