










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
108 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 144 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 64 | 44% |
| Smokes | 10 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 30 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 40 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $20,100 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElNino | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | P1HLAK | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | ra1nerpeek666 | 100% | 2 |
| #4 | skaff | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | ewtwegwe | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hakuna matata | 56 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #2 | skaff | 46 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #3 | ewtwegwe | 17 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #4 | ra1nerpeek666 | 5 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | ElNino | 4 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hakuna matata | +4.43 | 68 | 58 |
| #2 | ra1nerpeek666 | +1.72 | 25 | 75 |
| #3 | P1HLAK | +1.36 | 36 | 73 |
| #4 | ElNino | +0.94 | 85 | 76 |
| #5 | skaff | -0.64 | 31 | 61 |





