










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
657 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,582 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1240 | 35% |
| Smokes | 778 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 996 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 568 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $260,237 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 189 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | BIG EPSTEIN 67 | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | 𝕋𝕚𝕟𝕪𝔻𝕖𝕧 | 40% | 25 |
| #5 | ElNino | 31% | 13 |
| #6 | ewtwegwe | 29% | 7 |
| #7 | Kefaka | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕋𝕚𝕟𝕪𝔻𝕖𝕧 | 5 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | hakuna matata | 5 | 0.0151 |
| #3 | ElNino | 4 | 0.0168 |
| #4 | BIG EPSTEIN 67 | 4 | 0.0233 |
| #5 | ewtwegwe | 4 | 0.0278 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hakuna matata | 65 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | 𝕋𝕚𝕟𝕪𝔻𝕖𝕧 | 61 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | ewtwegwe | 34 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| #4 | ElNino | 30 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kefaka | 23 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hakuna matata | +5.25 | 72 | 57 |
| #2 | Kefaka | +3.23 | 58 | 49 |
| #3 | skaff | -0.98 | 26 | 65 |
| #4 | 𝕋𝕚𝕟𝕪𝔻𝕖𝕧 | -2.38 | 33 | 51 |
| #5 | BIG EPSTEIN 67 | -2.66 | 17 | 27 |





