








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 350 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6363 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,407 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3043 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2327 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 4680 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3357 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,851,162 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2252 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uzin :< | 61% | 111 |
| #2 | dark | 58% | 57 |
| #3 | excdus | 56% | 239 |
| #4 | Khat | 56% | 57 |
| #5 | Current | 55% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | excdus | 23 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | DeuceFN | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Khat | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | uzin :< | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Current | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeuceFN | 760 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #2 | excdus | 604 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | Current | 411 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #4 | uzin :< | 349 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | brensamo1x | 210 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeuceFN | +3.67 | 87 | 60 |
| #2 | Khat | +1.54 | 72 | 63 |
| #3 | excdus | +0.97 | 63 | 50 |
| #4 | Beer & Premier | +0.72 | 87 | 47 |
| #5 | Current | +0.25 | 60 | 57 |





