








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1638 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1726 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1425 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1092 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 802 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $668,378 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khat | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Beer & Premier | 61% | 111 |
| #3 | excdus | 61% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khat | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Beer & Premier | 61% | 111 |
| #3 | excdus | 61% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beer & Premier | 22 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | excdus | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Khat | 3 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beer & Premier | 225 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | excdus | 198 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Khat | 13 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khat | +2.12 | 67 | 74 |
| #2 | Beer & Premier | +1.45 | 89 | 52 |
| #3 | excdus | +0.82 | 67 | 56 |
| #4 | uzin :< | +0.04 | 76 | 42 |





