








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3361 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,444 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2124 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2091 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1262 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 967 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $819,534 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 443 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brensamo1x | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | dark | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | Current | 62% | 42 |
| #4 | uzin :< | 61% | 72 |
| #5 | Beer & Premier | 56% | 239 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | dark | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | Current | 62% | 42 |
| #4 | uzin :< | 61% | 72 |
| #5 | Beer & Premier | 56% | 239 |
| #6 | DeuceFN | 51% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beer & Premier | 39 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | DeuceFN | 14 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | uzin :< | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Current | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | brensamo1x | 2 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beer & Premier | 543 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | DeuceFN | 523 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #3 | Current | 241 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #4 | uzin :< | 225 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | dark | 100 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeuceFN | +3.53 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | excdus | +0.82 | 59 | 49 |
| #3 | Beer & Premier | +0.41 | 87 | 46 |
| #4 | Current | +0.26 | 58 | 65 |
| #5 | dark | -1.22 | 64 | 50 |





