










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 459 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,521 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1857 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1689 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1359 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1616 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $958,242 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 339 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trëma | 63% | 43 |
| #2 | F3LPPZ | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | p4nD | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | F1 | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | Noveleto | 57% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trëma | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | FX. evuL | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | seixo papinto | 4 | 0.0156 |
| #4 | F3LPPZ | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | dANNN. | 3 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FX. evuL | 569 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | bleizaoF | 487 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #3 | r1vo | 251 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #4 | trëma | 188 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #5 | wheres2 | 182 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FX. evuL | +2.32 | 66 | 78 |
| #2 | F1 | +2.07 | 76 | 57 |
| #3 | r1vo | +1.87 | 74 | 77 |
| #4 | p4nD | +1.83 | 53 | 66 |
| #5 | trëma | +1.19 | 75 | 64 |





