








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 727 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2945 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,969 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2758 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2401 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1637 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2173 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $899,757 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1025 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hor$e | 63% | 43 |
| #2 | Noveleto | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | F3LPPZ | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | FX. evuL | 57% | 76 |
| #5 | bleizaoF | 53% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | slood | 53% | 32 |
| #7 | wheres2 | 51% | 81 |
| #8 | r1vo | 46% | 26 |
| #9 | seixo papinto | 45% | 89 |
| #10 | p4nD | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seixo papinto | 22 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | wheres2 | 10 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | hor$e | 8 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | FX. evuL | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | p4nD | 2 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FX. evuL | 356 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | wheres2 | 302 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | bleizaoF | 240 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | seixo papinto | 228 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | r1vo | 140 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FX. evuL | +2.94 | 67 | 74 |
| #2 | Noveleto | +2.57 | 74 | 57 |
| #3 | trëma | +1.59 | 74 | 56 |
| #4 | r1vo | +1.12 | 72 | 78 |
| #5 | wheres2 | +0.98 | 74 | 67 |





