








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
348 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,274 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 468 | 37% |
| Smokes | 332 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 301 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 173 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $75,954 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herppes22 | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | paskontakone.exe | 50% | 28 |
| #3 | Sisäfile | 42% | 33 |
| #4 | e-Joopi | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herppes22 | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | paskontakone.exe | 50% | 28 |
| #3 | Sisäfile | 42% | 33 |
| #4 | e-Joopi | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sisäfile | 6 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | paskontakone.exe | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | e-Joopi | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paskontakone.exe | 89 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | e-Joopi | 69 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | Sisäfile | 66 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Herppes22 | 19 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herppes22 | +3.35 | 31 | 53 |
| #2 | paskontakone.exe | +3.25 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | e-Joopi | +1.41 | 42 | 61 |
| #4 | megaboussi | -0.66 | 50 | 49 |
| #5 | Sisäfile | -0.98 | 30 | 52 |





