








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
473 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,626 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 520 | 32% |
| Smokes | 509 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 348 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 249 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $194,304 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herppes22 | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | e-Joopi | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | megaboussi | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | Sisäfile | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herppes22 | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | e-Joopi | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | megaboussi | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | Sisäfile | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | megaboussi | 7 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | Sisäfile | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | e-Joopi | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | megaboussi | 103 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | e-Joopi | 85 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Sisäfile | 47 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Herppes22 | 42 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paskontakone.exe | +2.18 | 71 | 58 |
| #2 | Herppes22 | +1.46 | 33 | 50 |
| #3 | e-Joopi | +1.39 | 38 | 56 |
| #4 | Sisäfile | -0.96 | 40 | 50 |
| #5 | megaboussi | -1.44 | 45 | 51 |





