










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
318 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,439 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 351 | 24% |
| Smokes | 479 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 289 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 320 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $118,584 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sisäfile | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | paskontakone.exe | 57% | 28 |
| #5 | Herppes22 | 56% | 9 |
| #6 | megaboussi | 37% | 19 |
| #7 | Purkka Marko | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Purkka Marko | 3 | 0.0353 |
| #2 | megaboussi | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Sisäfile | 1 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | savo | 1 | 0.0278 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paskontakone.exe | 77 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | megaboussi | 54 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Purkka Marko | 26 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| #4 | Sisäfile | 22 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | Herppes22 | 16 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | savo | +5.65 | 95 | 37 |
| #2 | Purkka Marko | +4.57 | 93 | 55 |
| #3 | paskontakone.exe | +2.86 | 66 | 62 |
| #4 | e-Joopi | +1.11 | 44 | 52 |
| #5 | Sisäfile | +0.87 | 33 | 63 |





