








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1028 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Renown | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4054 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,758 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5814 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5166 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4262 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3516 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $277,519 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1057 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | heelik- | 63% | 72 |
| #8 | Curious Case | 62% | 66 |
| #9 | Example-_- | 62% | 29 |
| #10 | Agent420 | 54% | 63 |
| #11 | smokeG | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Curious Case | 7 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Operas | 7 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | sc | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | stand0ne | 3 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | heelik- | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LarNo | 153 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | Example-_- | 121 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | heelik- | 98 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Curious Case | 88 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Agent420 | 87 | 0.07 | 2 min |





