










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1939 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,658 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2352 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1315 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 3396 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1595 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,026,133 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NuT Asmodeus | 62% | 53 |
| #2 | tiirt | 45% | 31 |
| #3 | Vertigo/Inferno = Troll | 44% | 70 |
| #4 | shok | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NuT Asmodeus | 62% | 53 |
| #2 | tiirt | 45% | 31 |
| #3 | Vertigo/Inferno = Troll | 44% | 70 |
| #4 | shok | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shok | 9 | 0.0168 |
| #2 | NuT Asmodeus | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | tiirt | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Vertigo/Inferno = Troll | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NuT Asmodeus | 134 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | shok | 112 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | Vertigo/Inferno = Troll | 109 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | tiirt | 57 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shok | +4.66 | 81 | 56 |
| #2 | NuT Asmodeus | -0.36 | 16 | 49 |
| #3 | Zonko | -0.96 | 21 | 37 |
| #4 | Vertigo/Inferno = Troll | -1.65 | 9 | 44 |
| #5 | tiirt | -1.87 | 45 | 39 |





