








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1342 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1037 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




117 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9322 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,865 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9835 | 28% |
| Smokes | 10487 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 7778 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6765 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,826,353 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alawiii | 57% | 175 |
| #2 | GrEtA tHuNbErG | 51% | 842 |
| #3 | Qbuddiii | 51% | 96 |
| #4 | feliciablksthl♕ | 51% | 112 |
| #5 | Magdalena Andersson | 51% | 270 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GrEtA tHuNbErG | 66 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Baltasar "El_Niño" Aguirre | 42 | 0.0133 |
| #3 | Krunk | 22 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | KennethS | 22 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Magdalena Andersson | 17 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GrEtA tHuNbErG | 3228 | 0.18 | 72 min |
| #2 | Krunk | 614 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | KennethS | 464 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | Qbuddiii | 413 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #5 | Baltasar "El_Niño" Aguirre | 314 | 0.10 | 7 min |





