










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1153 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1614 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1825 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1101 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 571 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $126,883 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Energy㊣ | 100% | 8 |
| #2 | Yu | 80% | 15 |
| #3 | 海底撈 | 75% | 32 |
| #4 | 𝕵𝖊𝖋𝖋 | 73% | 30 |
| #5 | 𝒥𝑒𝒻𝒻 | 70% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Energy㊣ | 100% | 8 |
| #2 | Yu | 80% | 15 |
| #3 | 海底撈 | 75% | 32 |
| #4 | 𝕵𝖊𝖋𝖋 | 73% | 30 |
| #5 | 𝒥𝑒𝒻𝒻 | 70% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝒥𝑒𝒻𝒻 | 9 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | 海底撈 | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | 𝕵𝖊𝖋𝖋 | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Energy㊣ | 1 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Energy㊣ | 45 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #2 | 海底撈 | 43 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | 𝒥𝑒𝒻𝒻 | 40 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | 𝕵𝖊𝖋𝖋 | 30 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Yu | 18 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝒥𝑒𝒻𝒻 | +4.72 | 74 | 35 |
| #2 | Yu | +3.67 | 65 | 62 |
| #3 | 𝕵𝖊𝖋𝖋 | +3.16 | 67 | 46 |
| #4 | 海底撈 | +0.83 | 74 | 42 |
| #5 | Energy㊣ | +0.80 | 54 | 61 |





