








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,437 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 905 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1033 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 660 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 839 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $461,644 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirby | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | my teammates are dumb | 61% | 71 |
| #3 | alaLaLBG | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | High Five | 52% | 122 |
| #5 | Jeli | 50% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | High Five | 52% | 122 |
| #5 | Jeli | 50% | 94 |
| #6 | TripleWhite | 46% | 28 |
| #7 | Baashy | 40% | 40 |
| #8 | Stay humble, eh? | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | High Five | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | my teammates are dumb | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Baashy | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Stay humble, eh? | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | TripleWhite | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | High Five | 280 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Baashy | 179 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | my teammates are dumb | 152 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Stay humble, eh? | 79 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | TripleWhite | 65 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | my teammates are dumb | +6.67 | 90 | 51 |
| #2 | Baashy | +2.32 | 82 | 56 |
| #3 | Stay humble, eh? | +1.51 | 71 | 55 |
| #4 | Kirby | +0.82 | 58 | 40 |
| #5 | High Five | -0.47 | 53 | 51 |





