








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 711 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4002 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,035 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1990 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1282 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1724 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2039 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $551,222 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 658 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirby | 80% | 59 |
| #2 | onion | 75% | 20 |
| #3 | jaf | 72% | 18 |
| #4 | scoutdesu | 71% | 17 |
| #5 | Baashy | 68% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | High Five | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Baashy | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | TripleWhite | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | iSMITHY24 | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Kirby | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | High Five | 401 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Baashy | 175 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | iSMITHY24 | 125 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | TripleWhite | 98 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | jaf | 62 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | my teammates are dumb | +6.56 | 91 | 55 |
| #2 | scoutdesu | +5.76 | 86 | 63 |
| #3 | Baashy | +2.68 | 77 | 53 |
| #4 | onion | +1.39 | 67 | 54 |
| #5 | High Five | -1.06 | 50 | 51 |





