








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,063 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3686 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3016 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2605 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2756 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $706,206 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 215 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | my teammates are dumb | 68% | 40 |
| #2 | Stay humble, eh? | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | Kirby | 64% | 22 |
| #4 | jaf | 61% | 18 |
| #5 | onion | 61% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Pimpinas | 56% | 108 |
| #8 | High Five | 54% | 112 |
| #9 | TripleWhite | 52% | 21 |
| #10 | H | 50% | 34 |
| #11 | iSMITHY24 | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H | 19 | 0.0303 |
| #2 | Pimpinas | 16 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | TripleWhite | 5 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | High Five | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | iSMITHY24 | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | High Five | 252 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Pimpinas | 236 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | my teammates are dumb | 73 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | jaf | 62 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | H | 61 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | my teammates are dumb | +5.84 | 89 | 54 |
| #2 | Baashy | +3.01 | 82 | 55 |
| #3 | Pimpinas | +2.18 | 79 | 49 |
| #4 | Stay humble, eh? | +0.32 | 54 | 57 |
| #5 | Kirby | -0.01 | 52 | 29 |





