








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
890 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,676 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1057 | 39% |
| Smokes | 743 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 489 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 387 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $263,242 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 329 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KaNGaRoo | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | GTV | 76% | 21 |
| #3 | KQlo | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | Al John | 69% | 16 |
| #5 | LUQUE | 67% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | KQlo | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | Al John | 69% | 16 |
| #5 | LUQUE | 67% | 12 |
| #6 | Fidel Castro | 63% | 27 |
| #7 | Ropz | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GTV | 4 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | Al John | 3 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | LUQUE | 1 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | KaNGaRoo | 1 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | KQlo | 1 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fidel Castro | 91 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | GTV | 85 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | LUQUE | 81 | 0.35 | 2 min |
| #4 | KaNGaRoo | 33 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Al John | 24 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SNK | +3.36 | 80 | 66 |
| #2 | LUQUE | +2.74 | 57 | 82 |
| #3 | GTV | +0.21 | 64 | 69 |
| #4 | KQlo | -1.61 | 66 | 55 |
| #5 | KaNGaRoo | -2.82 | 25 | 52 |





