








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
696 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,424 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1083 | 32% |
| Smokes | 851 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 840 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 650 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $145,057 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SNK | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | KaNGaRoo | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Fidel Castro | 52% | 50 |
| #4 | Al John | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | ✪ SNK' | 30% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Fidel Castro | 52% | 50 |
| #4 | Al John | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | ✪ SNK' | 30% | 33 |
| #6 | KQlo | 27% | 11 |
| #7 | GTV | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Al John | 6 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | SNK | 2 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | Fidel Castro | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | KQlo | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ SNK' | 179 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #2 | Fidel Castro | 129 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | GTV | 94 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | KaNGaRoo | 52 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Al John | 44 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SNK | +7.06 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | GTV | +2.22 | 78 | 68 |
| #3 | ✪ SNK' | +2.10 | 79 | 63 |
| #4 | Fidel Castro | +1.06 | 41 | 68 |
| #5 | LUQUE | -0.89 | 44 | 66 |





