








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 224 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
2316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1016 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1479 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 799 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1995 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $773,725 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 170 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shy | 70% | 37 |
| #2 | z_97 | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | RELO | 59% | 133 |
| #4 | Jean Bart | 59% | 99 |
| #5 | OhioPlayer | 58% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | OhioPlayer | 58% | 26 |
| #6 | KevinBill | 52% | 44 |
| #7 | Mitoma | 51% | 39 |
| #8 | Ph4rK1ng | 50% | 24 |
| #9 | JustlikeLulu | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KevinBill | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | shy | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RELO | 616 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #2 | KevinBill | 289 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| #3 | shy | 201 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #4 | Jean Bart | 183 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | JustlikeLulu | 163 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shy | +2.98 | 80 | 82 |
| #2 | z_97 | +1.42 | 85 | 74 |
| #3 | Jean Bart | +0.95 | 72 | 38 |
| #4 | OhioPlayer | +0.23 | 87 | 68 |
| #5 | Ademaro | +0.13 | 73 | 46 |





