








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1086 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 595 matches | ||
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 445 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11108 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,303 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4759 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6189 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3757 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 6598 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,225,806 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 542 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Hymie | 53% | 152 |
| #12 | KevinBill | 51% | 329 |
| #13 | Ph4rK1ng | 50% | 122 |
| #14 | Joker_ | 49% | 269 |
| #15 | Faker | 45% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KevinBill | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | z_97 | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Joker_ | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Hymie | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | RELO | 2 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KevinBill | 1931 | 0.28 | 46 min |
| #2 | RELO | 1708 | 0.17 | 44 min |
| #3 | JustlikeLulu | 1268 | 0.22 | 29 min |
| #4 | Joker_ | 903 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #5 | shy | 807 | 0.23 | 24 min |





