








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 258 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 680 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1029 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1346 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 920 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $463,550 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 703 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giyū Tomioka | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | Yugge | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | Thanatos | 71% | 21 |
| #4 | ♛T A L I♛ | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | JoyE | 67% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Yugge | 63% | 46 |
| #7 | Kokey Kola | 62% | 13 |
| #8 | Pumpkin | 54% | 57 |
| #9 | -.-MAÑO-.- | 44% | 9 |
| #10 | Black tar heroine addict | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yugge | 7 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Black tar heroine addict | 4 | 0.0147 |
| #3 | Kokey Kola | 3 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | Pumpkin | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | JoyE | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thanatos | 51 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | ♛T A L I♛ | 45 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | Pumpkin | 44 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | JoyE | 33 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Giyū Tomioka | 26 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kokey Kola | +3.54 | 74 | 51 |
| #2 | Yugge | +2.62 | 63 | 32 |
| #3 | ♛T A L I♛ | +2.16 | 87 | 70 |
| #4 | Thanatos | +1.89 | 75 | 75 |
| #5 | Pumpkin | +1.62 | 72 | 53 |





