








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1960 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,281 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2285 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1497 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1854 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1645 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,019,386 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tropical | 44% | 124 |
| #2 | saltednoodles | 44% | 136 |
| #3 | Hayden | 44% | 173 |
| #4 | Warren | 43% | 243 |
| #5 | Fekiy | 37% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | saltednoodles | 44% | 136 |
| #3 | Hayden | 44% | 173 |
| #4 | Warren | 43% | 243 |
| #5 | Fekiy | 37% | 79 |
| #6 | Havoc | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warren | 25 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Tropical | 21 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | Hayden | 18 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Havoc | 8 | 0.0123 |
| #5 | Fekiy | 6 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saltednoodles | 524 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | Warren | 399 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | Hayden | 303 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | Fekiy | 240 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | Tropical | 172 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hayden | +3.07 | 66 | 61 |
| #2 | saltednoodles | +0.67 | 67 | 73 |
| #3 | Fekiy | -0.51 | 64 | 54 |
| #4 | Heath | -0.56 | 52 | 53 |
| #5 | Tropical | -0.96 | 53 | 52 |





