








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 289 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3476 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,330 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3930 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4096 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3589 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3715 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,145,512 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 584 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Havoc | 52% | 29 |
| #2 | Tropical | 48% | 120 |
| #3 | Warren | 46% | 342 |
| #4 | Hayden | 46% | 291 |
| #5 | Heath | 44% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Tropical | 48% | 120 |
| #3 | Warren | 46% | 342 |
| #4 | Hayden | 46% | 291 |
| #5 | Heath | 44% | 136 |
| #6 | Fekiy | 34% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hayden | 32 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Heath | 23 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | Warren | 18 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Tropical | 11 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Fekiy | 5 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warren | 532 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #2 | Hayden | 430 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | Heath | 361 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | Fekiy | 248 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | Tropical | 155 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hayden | +3.19 | 68 | 59 |
| #2 | saltednoodles | +0.38 | 67 | 73 |
| #3 | Fekiy | -0.55 | 67 | 56 |
| #4 | Heath | -1.17 | 51 | 55 |
| #5 | Tropical | -2.05 | 52 | 47 |





