








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 68 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,760 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2531 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1426 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 4866 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 2937 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,078,383 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Havoc | 48% | 40 |
| #2 | saltednoodles | 46% | 291 |
| #3 | Heath | 44% | 173 |
| #4 | Warren | 44% | 374 |
| #5 | Tropical | 43% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Heath | 44% | 173 |
| #4 | Warren | 44% | 374 |
| #5 | Tropical | 43% | 139 |
| #6 | TheRealBritishGuy | 36% | 22 |
| #7 | Fekiy | 35% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heath | 28 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Warren | 20 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Tropical | 11 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Fekiy | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | saltednoodles | 7 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saltednoodles | 1005 | 0.17 | 29 min |
| #2 | Warren | 614 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #3 | Heath | 482 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #4 | Fekiy | 282 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | Tropical | 172 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hayden | +3.32 | 68 | 59 |
| #2 | saltednoodles | +0.18 | 67 | 72 |
| #3 | Fekiy | -0.88 | 68 | 56 |
| #4 | Heath | -1.11 | 51 | 52 |
| #5 | Tropical | -3.01 | 46 | 42 |





