








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1397 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,250 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1113 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1108 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 987 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1042 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $329,483 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ham | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Super_Duck | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | PIXEL | 61% | 72 |
| #4 | Fink | 59% | 37 |
| #5 | xKyngz | 58% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ham | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Super_Duck | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | PIXEL | 61% | 72 |
| #4 | Fink | 59% | 37 |
| #5 | xKyngz | 58% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fink | 6 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | xKyngz | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | PIXEL | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Super_Duck | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | ham | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super_Duck | 148 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #2 | xKyngz | 123 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | PIXEL | 94 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Fink | 39 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | ham | 32 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fink | +5.72 | 90 | 52 |
| #2 | ham | +3.38 | 76 | 57 |
| #3 | Super_Duck | +1.73 | 76 | 61 |
| #4 | PIXEL | +1.08 | 66 | 55 |
| #5 | DAHL | +0.85 | 75 | 55 |





