








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 101 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1413 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,205 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1733 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1634 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 831 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1007 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $415,204 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 177 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fink | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | PIXEL | 64% | 44 |
| #3 | DAHL | 62% | 26 |
| #4 | xKyngz | 61% | 23 |
| #5 | marcuslundbyefterskolen | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | DAHL | 62% | 26 |
| #4 | xKyngz | 61% | 23 |
| #5 | marcuslundbyefterskolen | 50% | 10 |
| #6 | Agent. Xavier | 45% | 11 |
| #7 | sirius^ | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PIXEL | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | xKyngz | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | marcuslundbyefterskolen | 1 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | sirius^ | 1 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DAHL | 77 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | PIXEL | 51 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | xKyngz | 34 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | Fink | 26 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | sirius^ | 16 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fink | +5.47 | 92 | 60 |
| #2 | Super_Duck | +0.89 | 76 | 53 |
| #3 | PIXEL | -0.82 | 58 | 56 |
| #4 | sirius^ | -0.91 | 62 | 56 |
| #5 | DAHL | -1.57 | 73 | 57 |





