










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
766 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,463 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 645 | 26% |
| Smokes | 805 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 448 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 565 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $80,875 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Draco + 23 Chromosome | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Kaine | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | bryce assf | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | convictioN | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | s0nder | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | s0nder | 50% | 4 |
| #6 | pacific shawty | 50% | 8 |
| #7 | Sleepyhead | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | doo doo dick | 48% | 40 |
| #9 | Mangos | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doo doo dick | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Kaine | 4 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | Sleepyhead | 2 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doo doo dick | 115 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | Kaine | 70 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | bryce assf | 25 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | convictioN | 18 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | s0nder | 11 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaine | +2.27 | 80 | 56 |
| #2 | Draco + 23 Chromosome | +1.41 | 62 | 39 |
| #3 | Bills Hat Flies Onto Kahns Head | +1.27 | 76 | 55 |
| #4 | s0nder | +1.23 | 80 | 58 |
| #5 | pacific shawty | -0.50 | 51 | 61 |





