








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2336 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,460 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3112 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1906 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2881 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 561 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $577,448 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 881 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doggi | 47% | 111 |
| #2 | Noid | 40% | 201 |
| #3 | za | 35% | 20 |
| #4 | csun | 31% | 55 |
| #5 | redsnakeii | 29% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Noid | 40% | 201 |
| #3 | za | 35% | 20 |
| #4 | csun | 31% | 55 |
| #5 | redsnakeii | 29% | 97 |
| #6 | marky_ember | 27% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doggi | 39 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | Noid | 18 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | csun | 8 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | za | 8 | 0.0191 |
| #5 | redsnakeii | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doggi | 743 | 0.33 | 19 min |
| #2 | Noid | 728 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #3 | za | 149 | 0.36 | 4 min |
| #4 | marky_ember | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | csun | 3 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doggi | +3.48 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | za | +2.69 | 74 | 70 |
| #3 | Noid | +2.64 | 78 | 66 |
| #4 | PostgreSQL | -0.58 | 50 | 55 |
| #5 | redsnakeii | -6.30 | 7 | 11 |





