








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1234 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




132 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6280 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9211 | 47% |
| Smokes | 3708 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4014 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2753 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $930,629 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marlboro Villain | 17 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Noid | 10 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | PostgreSQL | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Maso_ | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | cow boy wilson | 5 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noid | 453 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | PostgreSQL | 331 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | cow boy wilson | 264 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #4 | Marlboro Villain | 131 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Maso_ | 107 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doggi | +3.13 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | cow boy wilson | +1.81 | 67 | 64 |
| #3 | Noid | +1.06 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | Marlboro Villain | +0.58 | 57 | 41 |
| #5 | ChamaBTC | +0.07 | 80 | 38 |





